So here’s the story on the Child Support front. I know it’s been confusing. I’ll try to clarify.
Prior to 2005, The Egg Donor (ED) was responsible for payment of all daycare costs (she claimed they were well over $800/month) and payment of health insurance. She paid spottily for both things, causing lapses in daycare due to large outstanding balances, moving the kids to a new daycare when the balances got beyond what she could pay, and generally refusing to enroll the kids in and keep the kids on health insurance. When she left the most stable job she had, she proceeded to hop around to several others, never staying long enough to get on benefits, and never paying Cobra from the stable job to maintain benefits.
My Hubby was responsible for paying ED child support… a LOT of child support… almost as much as our mortgage. He never missed a single payment. In fact, he ended up overpaying (because Child Support Mods, once ordered, are retroactive to the date of filing) by almost $15,000.
In court in 2005, My Hubby got 51% parenting time, exactly what we requested so that we could put the kids on my insurance. It was a huge victory. When you have a kid with asthma, who seems to be hospitalized annually like clockwork, going without insurance is just not an option. Being able to maintain stable insurance, and take them to the doctor, the dentist, and the eye doctor for a copay (instead of the full, outrageous charge), was a God-send! So we agreed to pay for and maintain health insurance, at a cost of around $180/month for all three kids. ED, still thinking that My Hubby would end up paying her a significant chunk of change, argued strenuously that she still be responsible for payment of daycare. She wanted the tax writeoff. She wanted the child support check from My Hubby. The judge agreed that she should pay daycare, to the tune of $815/month, an average of the total yearly cost.
And then the judge (different than The Honorable What’s-His-Name), despite stating that My Hubby should pay $200/month in child support, ordered that she receive zero dollars from My Hubby until 2009, because the overpayment was so high. Well, that set her right off. It was ridiculous! She stood up in her stilettos and shook the Child Support Worksheet at the judge, screaming about how she could not possible make it without My Hubby paying child support. It was NOT in the kids’ best interest. Hmmm, where have we heard that before?
The judge just banged his gavel down and asked our attorney to formulate his words into a formal order. It was awesome.
Let’s not mention the fact that My Hubby offered to pay her $580/month in child support if she would just let him have the 51% parenting time so we could get the kids on insurance. She wasted three hours of time with our attorney (paid for by us, of course), signed the paperwork and the reneged in court, ending up with zero.
Greed… it’s an interesting beast.
So that’s been the deal since 2005. As you know, we filed a Motion to Modify Parenting Time, based on her complete and total insanity, in early 2007. It took us until November to get a hearing. Our motion was actually denied, but since then she’s done everything she can to violate every order on the planet, so she’s been reduced to seeing the kids every other weekend–that change has been in effect since January. She filed a crazy Motion to Reconsider mid-January and we filed an Emergency Motion to Modify Child Support after she told the kids’ current daycare provider that she would not pay the significant outstanding balance she had unless she “got her way in court.” Knowing that she wouldn’t get her way, we were concerned that she would not pay the balance and we would be stuck with having the kids full time, but without daycare. Problematic. After all, she–now not impacted in any way by daycare or lack thereof because she only sees them four days a month, and only on weekends–would have no incentive to continue paying.
Our Motion to Modify Child Support was filed in Emergency fashion because of the looming balance, but the actual modification request was just that she pay child support, enforced by the state, and let us take care of being responsible for payment of the bills… because she so clearly is not capable. The long and the short of it is that The Honorable What’s-His-Name (THWHN) denied our request to set the hearing on an emergency basis, ordered her to pay the balance at daycare, and not to miss any more payments. He told her that My Hubby would file contempt if the kids missed any daycare due to her lack of payment, that he would find her in contempt, and that he would fine her, imprison her or both. Strong words.
While there has been lots of drama since then, she has paid the balance… and has kept it current, as far as we know. The daycare folks let her pay by check (not a good idea since she’s bounced three separate checks just since the November hearing and it takes almost two months to get notice of the bounced check–can you say “Broken process?”), so we’ll see how that pans out.
Anyway, cut to yesterday.
In our state, you have to go through an Initial Status Conference before you can get a hearing date. While I think it’s noble to try to keep parties out of the courtroom, when you’re dealing with a situation as contentious as this one is, it is really a huge waste of time. But, it’s a mandate. So we went.
During these kinds of things, I have to sit in the hallway and wait because I am “not a party to this action.” I did. The Egg Donor showed up, despite our betting that she might not, using the excuse that she didn’t get the Certified Mail (that she is now picking up with great regularity) we sent with the Notice of Hearing included. They went in, and within 15 minutes they came out. My Hubby was laughing. ED was not.
She claimed that he had falsified his paystubs and that she would be subpoenaing his records. She claimed that he had far overstated the daycare costs and she would be providing proof of that. She claimed that she had taken a “significant cut in pay”, which is something she always claims when it comes time to pay the piper. What’s funny about her claims is that:
a) My Hubby attached his actual paystubs to the Motion to Modify, so she can subpoena all she wants. She won’t. But if she did, she would get the identical information.
b) My Hubby also attached the actual rate sheet from the before- and after-school program to the Motion. She can cry about it, but we will definitely subpoena her payment records and show that our calculations are correct.
c) We have already subpoenaed her employment records, including her payment history because we used them in the November hearing. We, of course, will reissue a subpoena to get updated information.
d) She was supposed to submit an updated financial affidavit, so we’ll get copies of her W-2s with that. She won’t have much wiggle room on that unless she doctors the forms, but then we’ll have her employment records anyway.
e) Dragging this out will cost her in the long run. The Motion, when granted, becomes an Order of the Court, retroactive to the date of filling. We estimate that she will now owe My Hubby about as much as our mortgage. She’s not paying out that much in daycare costs. The difference is about $800 per month, meaning that the $800/month difference will accrue until this whole mess gets settled.
f) The hearing that got set isn’t until May. Since My Hubby filed in January, that will be five months of arrears she’ll owe… about $4,000. Ouch!
I wonder why she wants to drag it out. Despite his repeated requests to agree on any of the numbers on the worksheet, she has steadfastly refused to even reply. Does she not understand that it is cut and dried in our state? His income, her income, daycare costs, and health insurance. That’s it. Those are the only numbers that matter. If you knew you’d start off $4,000 in arrears and the State would come after you, guns a blazin’, wouldn’t you try to work something out?
Oh, and I forgot to mention that he offered to drop the overpayment issue, which will tack on an additional $200/month to what she owes, if she would settle now. That’s almost $3,000 she could have saved herself. So it will really be more like $7,000 she’ll have to deal with up front.
Do you think she fights just for fighting’s sake?



Recent Comments