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Roadtrip – Day 1

May 30, 2007

Sorry that I have been out of touch for the past few days. My husband’s nephew (my nephew-in-law? nephew by marriage? heck, just my nephew) graduated from high school this past weekend. We got his invitation a month or so back and decided that we would pack up the family in the van and make the trek to wild, wonderful South Dakota. Traveling with our family is always an adventure–no matter where we’re going or how long the trip may be. Here’s a bit from our little trip diary, Day 1:


4:30 am – The kids get excited because we pack the night before and get up at the crack of dawn to head out. I’m not sure why they’re excited about this deal, because I personally think it stinks, but that’s the way hubby wants it and somehow they find it exciting to get to ride in the van in jammies. We didn’t quite make it out the door by 4:00 am like hubby wanted to, but we are backing out of the driveway and heading for parts unknown at high speed by 4:30. All of the kids are asleep in the backseat. Even the draw of the dozen hand-selected donuts we bought last night isn’t enough to overpower their heavy eyelids at this hour. The sunrise is incredible. I’m tired, but it was worth getting up at this hour just to see it. I always love the very beginning of a roadtrip. It feels exciting. It’s a new adventure.

6:30 am – Donut desire has overtaken them all. Someone ate a donut picked out specifically by someone else, although no one will ‘fess up, and I thought for a minute that we would have a fight on our hands, especially since they’re all operating on very little sleep. An extra chocolate-frosted Devil’s Food donut saved the day. Blasted wind will NOT stop blowing. The van is rocking so much as we’re driving that it feels like we’re on a ship and I might need to get my land legs back when we stop.

8:30 am – The youngest is a tad green around the gills. The wind is still blowing and his stomach hurts. I’m regretting the decision to let him eat the donut with red, white and blue sprinkles. We hook him up with a plastic bag… just in case.

9:00 am – We have had to make a stop in lovely Kearney, NE because the youngest forgot that the had the plastic bag. The red, white and blue sprinkles, along with the rest of the glazed-raised, are all over him, the seat, the suitcase beside him and the floor. The prospect of driving several more hours with THAT is not appealing to me. Hubby and I take turns cleaning (without breathing) while trying not to gag. Hubby works on getting new clothes onto the youngest while I clean up the seat, suitcase, and floor. The joys of parenthood…

9:30 am – We have lost a 1/2 hour to the cleaning of the most amazing yuckiness I have seen in a long time. I don’t like glazed-raised donuts when they’re going in; I like them sooooo much less when they’re coming out. I think I’m ruined for sprinkles forever. We are now armed with 25 garbage bags, purchased for the low, low price of $6.75 at the convenience store. The youngest has clean clothes and we have threatened him with immediate death if he can’t figure out how to use the plastic bag next time. He’s almost eight and absolutely capable of aiming his mouth toward the opening of a tall kitchen garbage bag, should the need to get rid of the contents of his stomach overcome him again…. darnit.

9:45 am – Hubby sees a wild turkey in the field off to the right. He is listening to the iPod, so his sense of volume is a tad bit off. He throws his arm in front of my face, pointing out the window like a madman, and screams at the top of his lungs, “BIG TURKEY!!!!” I’m pretty sure I just banged the top of my head on the roof of the van and my heart is beating a million miles an hour. I thought someone was dying… it’s just a turkey…. darnit. We discuss the hazards of carrying on conversation whilst listening to an iPod. He could have poked my eye out… our burst an eardrum… 🙂

12:30 pm – Woo hoo! We’re over halfway there now. We stop at The Brass Armadillo to look around. Antiques are one of hubby’s weaknesses, so this is a regularly scheduled event when we make this drive. We wander the aisles for an hour, stretching our legs, laughing at the prices and searching for treasure. We find a set of Spiderwick books for cheap and a pair of tennies for the eldest daughter. Awesome because the child has grown from a size 3 girls at the beginning of the school year to a size 7 1/2 women’s now. We’ve already spent a small fortune on shoes for her and these are cute. They’re an 8, brand new, room to grow and they’re only 3 bucks. Even better, she really likes them.

2:30 pm – Back to the van with the books and shoes we go. We settle in for the last stretch of the drive.

3:00 PM – We decide to play I Spy. We spy all sorts of white, green, brown, yellow and red things. We discuss the fairness of spying something for a second that passes outside of your, and more importantly everyone else’s, field of vision. We laugh at some of the things we spy — red fenders, green trees, brown road signs, green road signs, white lines on the road, fluffy clouds that look like horses, roadkill…. ewww.

3:30 PM – We change the game to something else. One person thinks of something and the rest of us have to ask questions about that something until someone guesses what it is. Hubby goes first. He says, “I’m thinking of something big…. and round…..” From the backseat, the eldest daughter’s voice yells, “YOUR BUTT!” All of us, except hubby, dissolve into gales of laughter.

3:45 PM – I’m still laughing and hubby is getting truly annoyed. My stomach hurts now, I’ve been laughing so hard. The fact that I’m still laughing is causing everyone else to laugh, too. I think they’ve long since stopped laughing about the “butt” comment, and they’re now just laughing at me because tears are pouring down my face and I can barely breathe. Laughing is good medicine, unless it’s your own, personal butt that your daughter thinks of when you describe something big and round. Ha ha ha!!!!

4:30 PM – We hear the first “Are we almost there yet?” These kids are truly great travelers.

5:00 PM – We are finally “there yet”. We pile out of the van and run for the door. We have lots to do this weekend–clothes to wash, stories to share, hugs to exchange, growing up to celebrate, and, most importantly… Girls’ Night at Bingo!

It’s good to be here.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Lynda permalink
    May 30, 2007 8:47 am

    Sounds like a fun trip! Glad you got there safely! I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of your tales!

  2. May 30, 2007 12:02 pm

    I always say: It’s not a road trip until one of the kids has thrown up. At least you just hadn’t eaten Mexican food. I grew up in Iowa and our summer vacation was always to Cozad, Nebraska to visit my grandma. Kearny is well-known to my family.

  3. May 30, 2007 12:50 pm

    Ohhhh myyyyyy gosh, that was ha-stinkin-larious. I howled at the YOUR BUTT comment! OMG, too funny. I’m glad you had a great trip. (And, I can totally see him yelling BIG TURKEY!).

  4. Andrea permalink
    May 31, 2007 7:50 am

    LMAO! Been there, done that, but with only 2 kids and a dog who threw up!

  5. May 31, 2007 9:55 am

    I love the reactionary overcompensentory garbage bag package-of-25-for-7-bucks purchase, BTDT. I think BIG TURKEY deserved the YOUR BUTT and everyone is even now! You guys have a fun family – I love your kids. They are so free to be…kids!

  6. June 4, 2007 6:30 am

    I am enjoying the antics of your family more than any sitcom on TV, I’ll tell ya! The BIG TURKEY is priceless. And as a sidenote – thank-you for not having satellite streamed in – or none of these adorable stories would be possible. I LOVE your writing!

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