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The Things They Do For What?

November 7, 2007

You’ll just have to forgive me if you’re the adventurous type. I’m not into jumping out of perfectly good airplanes, or jumping off a bridge in the hopes that a giant rubber band won’t snap right before I hit the ground. I’m not into climbing the sheer face of some cliff with a rope and a carabiner.  The Tower of Doom makes me want to toss my cookies and roller coasters give me a headache.

I’m more about heat when it’s cold and air conditioning when it’s hot. I like to shut the door on the elements. I like my afghan and a nice cup of tea in the winter and a nice, tall glass of iced lemonade and the kiddie pool in the summer (note:  the kiddie pool I’m referring to is the one we set up in the backyard–NOT the one maintained by the city which has God knows what floating in it).

My idea of camping out is a hotel room without the comforts of home. I’m just not that into extreme anything, ok?

So it struck me as sort of hilariously funny when I saw an ad last night for a show where this bunch of folks is climbing Mt. Everest. In a clip that reminded me way too much of the Blair Witch Project, this woman had the camera pointed straight up into her face, the light eerily outlining her nostrils and making her eyebrows seem gargantuan, while she whispered, “This is NOT something one WANTS to do.”

I laughed until my sides hurt. I laughed until my mouth felt stretched out. What a crazy loon! Seriously.

While I’m totally with her on the lack of wisdom in climbing Everest, I’m wondering if perhaps there’s some bizarre electromagnetic field from Everest that draws her there day after day. Maybe she owes money to the mafia and they agreed to let her debt go only if she climbed Everest? Maybe that’s the only place where the aliens return to take her back to her home planet. Maybe the voices make her do it.


My better guess is that she and a bunch of friends, adrenaline junkies that they are, were so bored with real life after their last extreme mission that they thought, “I know. Let’s climb Everest! What a great idea! Let’s go where there is almost no air and we need to take oxygen tanks. Let’s go where the elements are so harsh that most people don’t make it. Maybe we can wave at the skeletons of our other silly friends that have tried it on the way by… if we can still feel our legs… or our legs aren’t gone entirely due to severe frostbite! That would be great! That sounds awesome!”

And maybe they thought, “If we do it and we’re really crazy, maybe they’ll bring a camera crew and PAY us!”

Just wanted you to know, crazy nostril/eyebrow lady, that I was home…

on my couch…

with my hot cup of tea…

wrapped up in my afghan…

having a nice, steaming chicken pot pie…

thinking about my Jacuzzi tub…

laughing at you…

while you were making that clip.

Thanks for the comic relief. It was priceless!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 7, 2007 8:55 am

    So, I guess Scuba is out too?

  2. November 8, 2007 7:44 am

    I am all about roller coasters, but there will be no bungie jumping or climbing of Mt. Everest for me. For that matter, I would imagine that there aren’t even any 14ers in my future! I mean really, have you seen my rear end?

  3. November 8, 2007 8:49 am

    Scuba wouldn’t be too bad… in warm water… with no sharks.

    TG – it’s SO not that bad. We did pretty well on the Race for the Cure hike, if I do say so myself.

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