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In The Dishwasher Dumps – Part 2

January 18, 2011

We barely survived the weekend. Really.

The kids, not so much used to hand washing dishes, complained loudly about having to perform said task, which led to multiple conversations about how we didn’t even HAVE a dishwasher back in the day, how long it took us to get a color TV, how we had to get up from the couch to change the channel (one of four) on the TV once we DID get one, the distance we walked to school and back, and how we had to do it uphill both ways… in the snow… barefooted.

Perhaps it was educational for them. It was frustrating for me. I longed for the mysterious “controller” to arrive, to see it installed in my most excellent dishwasher post haste, and to get back to the normalcy of dishwashing being a 10-minute task instead of a half hour task.

Monday came and went.

No part.

Tuesday came and went.

No part.

By Tuesday evening, I was almost foaming at the mouth. Though it had only been five days since the dishwasher went on strike, it felt like it had been eons. Checking the front door as soon as I came home and seeing nothing there–two days in a ROW–was more than I could bear.

I called service. And got the most unqualified woman on the planet to actually WORK in customer service on the other end of the line.

“Yes, our dishwasher has been down since last Thursday and we were expecting the part required to fix it to arrive today so that it could be installed tomorrow.”

“Yeeesssssssssss…….”

“Well, it has not arrived, so I was hoping we could see what’s up with it.”

“Yeeesssssssssss…….”

Does she do this job all day long? Surely by this point she has enough information to proactively get whatever else she needs from me and get on with the business of helping me find a solution.

“Can you see in your system what the deal is?”

“Phone number please……”

It’s important to note here that this woman had a drawl, something I’m in general fond of. I lived in the South for quite some time and generally enjoy the easy familiarity that drawl brings. It usually reminds me of friendly people, sweet tea, lightning bugs, and rocking chairs on the porch in warm summer evenings. This particular drawl?

Not so much.

She really just sounded bored. So bored, in fact, that she might be in danger of falling into unconsciousness at any point during the conversation. Her words came out in far more syllables than were intended. Her “Yes” ended up being four syllables long and I found myself hanging on the word to see if she would even finish. Painful. Seriously.

I gave her my phone number and she punched it into the system. There was clicking and breathing, then silence.

“Are you still there?”

“Yeeesssssssssss…….”

“Oh, great! Did you find us in the system?”

Her: “Yeeesssssssssss…….”

Clearly, I needed to start asking open-ended questions, because her one-word, 75-syllable responses were starting to get on my nerves.

“Uh… ok. Are you able to see where the part is? I think it should have arrived today.”

“Would you like to track it?”

“Um… I was actually hoping you could do that and tell me where it is. It was supposed to be here today.”

Silence.

I tried again.

“Are you able to do that?”

“Yeeesssssssssss…….”

Dangit. There I went with the closed-ended questions again.

I waited, thinking that maybe if I let the air fill up with uncomfortable silence she would respond somehow. Finally, after two full minutes of dead air, during which I was hoping she was reading the history, she responded.

“I see that it should have been there today.”

“Right. It was supposed to be here today, but it has not arrived.”

“But I see that it should have been there today.”

“Right. It should have. But it isn’t here.”

“Hmmm. It should arrive today.”

I was rapidly growing more frustrated, if that was possible.

“Right. I agree with you. It SHOULD be here today. But it is already 6pm and it is NOT here. I would guess that it is NOT coming today, because if it WERE going to be here today, it would already be on my doorstep. And it is NOT on my doorstep. Which means that it will be very difficult for me to schedule service tomorrow.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you. It shows here that it should be there today.”

I was now speaking more slowly, in case she really just didn’t understand–and perhaps a little through clenched teeth, my words over enunciated in my effort to get the point across.

“I get that your system shows it should be here today, but it is NOT here. Would it be possible for you to look into the record and see who it was shipped by? Maybe that would help.”

“Hmmmm…. it looks like it went UPS. And it was scheduled for delivery today.”

I seriously wanted to jump through the phone and strangle this woman by this point. I was COMPLETELY. and. TOTALLY. CRYSTAL. FLIPPING. CLEAR on the fact that she thought it should be delivered that very day. But it was NOT on my doorstep and her bored, nasally drawl, repeating the same thing over and over and over again was making me teeter dangerously on the edge of sanity.

“Let me repeat that it is 6pm here. NO deliveries from UPS occur after 6pm… EVER! The part is NOT here. I need it to be here. I am down a dishwasher for which we paid a hefty sum to begin with AND we paid for the Extended Product Protection, which right now is serving no purpose, because I can’t get a part and I can’t get service. That is definitely NOT PRODUCT PROTECTION!”

I admit I was mostly yelling by this time. My last frayed nerve had been snapped unceremoniously by this woman who made a mockery of customer service.

“Ma’am, I don’t know what to tell you. It shows here that it should be there today. It should arrive today.”

I waited two beats, to keep from screaming into the phone at a volume level that would have made it impossible for her to understand my words. And when I did finally speak, it was with monumental effort that I restrained myself.

“Let me speak to your supervisor.”

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 18, 2011 7:15 am

    I would have gotten to those last six words much sooner. Or gotten hung up on.

    Ugh – I cannot stand customer service reps who think they don’t have to provide customer service. I hate it even more when I get the ones over-seas that speaka no eungwish

  2. ChapmansRus permalink
    January 18, 2011 8:08 am

    Customer service just isn’t cumstomer service anymore. I’ts more of a glorified title.

    Can’t wait to hear how it went with the supervisor… who generally have only a fraction more customer service than the rep…

    • ChapmansRus permalink
      January 18, 2011 8:09 am

      *customer – sorry! I’ve only had one cup of coffee, my typing skills are still without lead this morning 😉

  3. The Step In Mom permalink
    January 18, 2011 8:21 am

    I feel your pain! When we lived with my Mom for 9 months waiting for our new house to be finished, we had no dishwasher… I started buying massive amounts of paper plates and plastic silverware…

    I hate people like that. Yes it should be here, no it isn’t, so where the f*ck is it? If she was looking at UPS tracking it should have told her all that. And she should have been able to call UPS and find out what the issue was. I deal with UPS for shipping all the time, and they are actually pretty on top of things.

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